Improving Self Worth/Self Esteem
Confident people treat themselves well
Many clients come to me and over time speak about feeling ‘stronger’ in themselves. When I ask how (for them) that is coming about, inevitably thereply is ‘I am giving myself time Sheila’. Why you may ask would giving yourself time result in you feeling stronger in yourself? Well, when you give yourself time in shows that you value yourself. If you don’t value yourself, you invariably never seem to have time for yourself. Time is linked to self worth.
If you have no time for self, who else had no time for you?
The link between time and self worth
As a toddler, you probably thought that you were so lovable and capable of anything. The interactions of others, primarily parents creates a shadow over that and the ‘No, you are too small, you cannot do that’ we begin to think ’maybe I am not good enough, maybe I cannot do that’. Parents come into their parenting with their own emotional baggage and cannot give what they may not have got themselves.
How do you spell love? T.I.M.E
The child’s deepest need is for the parent to spend time with them, to choose to be with them and to enjoy their company and show that. The impact of that on the child is their self worth soars. However, if the parent does not give time to the child, the child feels ‘I am not worth it, their work is more important’ and their self worth is negatively impacted.
Whatever you did not get from your parents (who did their very best with what they themselves got and where they are ‘at’ in themselves) you can offer yourself from this moment. Give yourself time to show yourself you are worth it, will result in wanting more for yourself, with feeling you may need to ‘speak up’ to assert yourself.
Be kind to your mind
Emotionally, being kind to your thoughts and moving from ‘I cannot do it’ to ‘I could give it a try, I will give it a go, I might be good at that’.If negative thought come up, focus on re framing perspective, so there is less catastrophic thinking in every situation. Look for the good even in the bad situation, ‘what can I learn from this; how can I turn this to my advantage?’. Be supportive and encouraging of self, showing belief in yourself and remind yourself of past achievements.
Physical Self Parenting
Physically treat yourself well, dress to feel good about yourself and it will enhance how you interact with others. Do not push yourself to hard, or treat your body like a workhorse. Nurture your body with a good diet and exercise which makes every day more manageable by reducing stress. Physically practice stepping back from situations, hit your PAUSE button, to take a breath and to inevitably respond more proactively.
Spiritual Self Parenting
Take time and space for yourself no one deserves it more than you. You work hard and you deserve a rest. Relaxation is important in giving you time to reflect, to pray or to meditate or simply to get still. We have all the answers inside ourselves, all we need is to slow down and listen in to ourselves. Develop a habit of stopping, reflecting, maybe journal to become more conscious of how you are in yourself and with others.