The challenge is not to manage our time, but to manage ourselves

Can you identify with any of this?

  • Time-ManagementNot balanced Work 0r Home Life
  • Partner or children getting “leftovers”

  • Poor self-care (e.g.delays calling dentist or doctor)
  • Poor Boundaries
  • Always available
  • Takes too much responsibility on
  • Difficulty in saying No
  • Always in “Doing” mode
  • Fear of failure
  • Having to prove self
  • Perfectionist
  • Addicted to work

What is Driving You?

Are you likely to say something like: ‘I’m so busy, I haven’t time’. How does ‘never having time’ impact on self and others?

Take a moment to reflect the impact it has on loved ones; and the impact it has on you never having enough time. It is likely you are firing off in different directions, feeling tense and a little stressed much of the time. What is behind the statement: ”I’m so busy, I haven’t time”? What has happened for you that you are always so pressurised?

Who else had ‘no time’ for you?

Having no time for loved ones, comes from having no time for self. If you have no time for self, perhaps reflect for a moment, who else had ‘No time for you’? Often, it is a parent who was addicted to work, or sports or alcohol and the impact on the child is devastating. It directly impacts on their feelings of self-worth, and on how they value themselves.

Value Your Time

Their feelings are likely to be ‘I’m not good enough and I’m not worth it’. A lack of deservedness and self-worth mean we don’t value our time. Therefore the shift needed is to shift from not valuing to valuing your time. When we move from unconscious to conscious, we can do something different, we can value ourselves in the way we always needed to feel valued, we can perhaps be the parent to ourselves we needed our parent to be to us.

Take Care of Your Time

When we make the shift towards approving of ourselves, we no longer need to neglect ourselves by never saying No, or over caring for others in order to be validated externally.  Therefore, self-approval and self-acceptance are the key to positive change. When we approve of ourselves, we automatically take care of our time, set healthy boundaries and balance caring for others with caring for self.

Women’s greatest challenge? -Saying No

Many women have a problem in asking for help and receiving support. As they improve how they relate to turn to themselves, they automatically accept help that is offered graciously, or accept the compliment offered, without needing to ‘Return to Sender’. Last week, I received an email from a lady who had heard me speak at a Stress talk in her company. What she took away was that it was ok to say No, and she did over a couple of days and was delighted to find that she was more in control of her work and of her personal life.

 

Men’s greatest challenge? – Taking Care of Self

We need to take care of self to be the best we can be. Awareness means I shift towards consciously valuing my time, therefore:

  • Take time for self
  • Set time to leave work by & focus to ensure it happens
  • Leave work at work
  • Clearer desk/office often means a clearer mind
  • Set healthy boundaries round times you are not available
  • Learn to say yes to the person, but No to the Task!
  • Be a better delegator
  • Control technology
  • If you are a perfectionistic: Focus on effort, not your performance

Try the 80:20 Rules

80% of unfocused effort generates 20% of results; therefore remember that 80% of your results come from 20% of your effort. Optimise your efforts concentrating your time/energy on high pay off tasks.

Organises and execute around balanced priorities

The biggest mistakes we make are the following three:

  • Inability to Prioritise what’s important to you
  • Inability to Organise around these priorities
  • A lack of Discipline
  • A minute planning saves 10 minutes on execution

Covey’s Matrix

Essentially, many of us spend time on unimportant things so end up in Quadrant 1 fire fighting. Put the focus on important tasks whether they are Urgent or not, as if we procrastinate, they will be Urgent and Important. Spend as little time as possible on activities that may be Urgent but they are NOT IMPORTANT.

Schedule your time around balanced priorities: don’t forget time for self!

Take a moment and decide the different role you have:

Individual

Spouse

Parent

Manager

Volunteer for your children’s Scouts group etc.

GOALS

Now identify the Goals you have for each role you have, goals are important as they are the destination and they offer the vision to work towards.

Top Tips:

  • To Do List
  • Prioritise
  • Manage Distractions
  • Take Breaks to recharge
  • Do hardest task first
  • Reward difficult tasks achieved
  • Get longer lead time from clients
  • Chunking: Break task into manageable chunks
  • Ensure your expectations are realistic

“I may not be able to complete this project on time along with all the other work I have to do. However, I can get clear priorities from my boss, and then manage the time I spend on each project. It may be that the quality of each deliverable is not what I’d like it to be, but I have to be realistic about what is achievable here”

Benefits to better Personal Time Management

  • More in control at work & at home
  • Feel better, less tense & anxious
  • Balanced work & home life
  • Work not impacting negatively on spouse or children
  • Stronger Boundaries mean you are more respected as you respect self more
  • De clutter – More organised means a nicer environment to work in