The challenge is not to manage our time, but to manage ourselves

Time-ManagementCan you identify with any of this?

    • Not balanced Work/Home Life
    • Partners/children getting ‘leftovers’
    • Poor self-care (delays calling dentist/doctor)
    • Poor Boundaries around himself/herself
    • Always available
    • Takes too much responsibility on
    • Difficulty in saying No
    • Always in ‘Doing’ mode, little ‘Being’ mode
    • Fear of failure
    • Having to prove self
    • Perfectionist
    • Addicted to work
    • Filling a void

    Maybe for you, Being Busy means ‘I am of worth’.  What is driving you?

    Are you likely to say something like: ‘I’m so busy; I haven’t time’?  Time for what?  Probably time for family, whether partner or children, maybe time for friends, but ultimately: Time for Self.

    How does ‘never having time’ impact on self and others?

    Take a moment to reflect the impact it has on loved ones; and the impact it has on you never having enough time. It is likely you are firing off in different directions, feeling tense and a little stressed much of the time. What is behind the statement: ”I’m so busy, I haven’t time”? What has happened for the person that they are always so pressurised?

    Who else had ‘no time’ for you?

    Having time for loved ones, arises from having time for self. Therefore, prescriptions do not work, if you are doing this, perhaps examine ‘How was it I wasn’t balanced? How was it, I wasn’t looking after myself”?  If you have no time for self, perhaps reflect for a moment, who else had ‘No time for you’? Often, it is a parent who was addicted to work, or sports or alcohol and the impact on the child is devastating. It directly impacts on their feelings of self-worth, and on how they value themselves.

    Shift from not valuing to  valuing your time by valuing self

    Their feelings are likely to be ‘I’m not good enough, I don’t measure up, I don’t deserve, and I’m not worth it’. A lack of deservedness and self-worth mean we don’t value our time; therefore the shift needed is to shift from not valuing to valuing your time. When we move from unconscious to conscious, we can do something different, we can value ourselves in the way we always needed to feel valued, we can perhaps be the parent to ourselves we needed our parent to be to us.

    Have Boundaries around your Time – take care of your time

    When we make the shift towards approving of ourselves, we no longer need to neglect ourselves by never saying No, or over caring for others in order to be validated externally.  Therefore, self-approval and self-acceptance are the key to positive change. When we approve of ourselves, we automatically take care of our time, set healthy boundaries and balance caring for others with caring for self.

    Women’s greatest challenge is asking and receiving help/saying No

    Many women have a problem in asking for help and receiving support. As they improve how they relate to turn to themselves, they automatically accept help that is offered graciously, or accept the compliment offered, without needing to ‘Return to Sender’. Last week, I received an e mail from a lady who had heard me speak at a Stress talk in her company. What she took away was that it was ok to say No, and she did over a couple of days and was delighted to find that she was more’ in control of her work and of her personal life’.

    Men’s greatest challenge?

    Taking care and nurturing themselves

    Awareness means I shift towards consciously valuing my time, therefore:

    • Take time for self
    • Set time to leave work by & focus to ensure it happens
    • Leave work at work
    • Clearer desk/office often means a clearer mind
    • Set healthy boundaries round times you are not available
    • Learn to say yes to the person, but No to the Task!
    • Be a better delegator
    • Control technology
    • If you are a perfectionistic: Focus on effort, not your performance

    80:20 Rules

    80% of unfocused effort generates 20% of results; therefore remember that 80% of your results come from 20% of your effort. Optimise your efforts concentrating your time/energy on high pay off tasks.

    Organises and execute round balanced priorities

    The biggest mistakes we make are the following three:

    • Inability to Prioritise what’s important to you
    • Inability to Organise around these priorities
    • A lack of Discipline
    • A minute planning saves 10 minutes on execution

    Covey’s Matrix

    Essentially, many of us spend time on unimportant things so end up in Quadrant 1 fire fighting. Put the focus on important tasks whether they are Urgent or not, as if we procrastinate, they will be Urgent and Important. Spend as little time as possible on activities that may be Urgent but they are NOT IMPORTANT.

    Schedule your time around balanced priorities: don’t forget time for self!

    Take a moment and decide the different role you have:

    ROLES

    Individual

    Spouse

    Parent

    Manager

    Volunteer for you r children’s Scouts group

    GOALS

    Now identify the Goals you have for each role you have, goals are important as they are the destination and they offer the vision to work towards.

    WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO REACH MY GOALS?

    INDIVIDUAL                       Book a Course

    Spouse                                 Set a fortnightly DATE NIGHT

    Parent                                  Schedule family activity for weekend, puncture repair, some 1: 1 time

    Manager                              Begin working on Budget on Monday, breaking into manageable chunks

    Scouts                                   Organise a treasure hunt

     

    Top Tips:

    • To Do List
    • Prioritise
    • Manage Distractions
    • Take Breaks to recharge
    • Do hardest task first
    • Reward difficult tasks achieved
    • Get longer lead time from clients
    • Chunking: Break task into manageable chunks
    • Ensure your expectations are realistic

    “I may not be able to complete this project on time along with all the other work I have to do. However, I can get clear priorities from my boss, and then manage the time I spend on each project. It may be that the quality of each deliverable is not what I’d like it to be, but I have to be realistic about what is achievable here’

    Benefits to better Personal Time Management

    • More in control at work/home
    • Feel better, less tense/anxious
    • Balanced work/home life
    • Work not impacting negatively on spouse/children
    • Stronger Boundaries mean you are more respected as you respect self more
    • De clutter – More organised/efficient & a nicer environment to work in